5 Simple Steps to Get Started with Shadow Work

Intimidated by starting shadow work? Most of us have spent a lifetime hearing phrases like “be positive” and “look on the bright side,” so it’s no surprise that you might be a little freaked out about shadow work. While these sentiments are always shared in love, they can also cause us to repress trauma, difficult emotions, and thoughts we'd prefer to keep to ourselves. This constant repression will usually backfire, causing your fears and judgments to erupt out onto others later.It’s no wonder most of us are hesitant to jump into shadow work. We’ve been told our whole lives to ignore it.There are three fundamental steps to doing shadow work: to identify your shadow aspects, allow space for you to process them, and, finally, integrate them.

Intimidated by starting shadow work? Most of us have spent a lifetime hearing phrases like “be positive” and “look on the bright side,” so it’s no surprise that you might be a little freaked out about shadow work. While these sentiments are always shared in love, they can also cause us to repress trauma, difficult emotions, and thoughts we'd prefer to keep to ourselves. This constant repression will usually backfire, causing your fears and judgments to erupt out onto others later.

It’s no wonder most of us are hesitant to jump into shadow work. We’ve been told our whole lives to ignore it.

There are three fundamental steps to doing shadow work: to identify your shadow aspects, allow space for you to process them, and, finally, integrate them. By integrating your shadow side, you become whole.

As with all deep work, sometimes a qualified professional is needed. If you feel you need help from a therapist, psychiatrist, doctor, healer, or even a friend, I encourage you to do so. Facing the parts of ourselves often ignored can be difficult, especially if you've faced particularly traumatic events in your life.

I invite you to approach these offerings as ancillary allies to a shadow work practice. Here are four simple steps to help you get started with shadow work.

1. Practice Mindfulness

I mentioned in my last post that much of shadow work is becoming aware of how you’re projecting your shadow onto others and being triggered. Imagine your triggers as little notes from your shadow self.

The most effective way to bring more awareness into your daily life and catch those projections and triggers is through mindfulness. I’m not saying you need to commit to 30 minutes of silent meditation a day; a simple 5 minutes can really go a long way. If you need some pointers on how to start meditating, check out this earlier blog post on 8 quick tips to “be here now.”

2. Connect with Goddesses Associated with Shadow Work

There are Goddesses worldwide across cultures who correspond with the parts of life we're often told to keep to ourselves or ignore. Each Goddess below offers unique wisdom concerning shadow work. There are many more Goddesses and Gods to connect with

Kali

Kali is the wild and intense-looking Hindu Goddess of time, death, destruction, and rebirth. She is often shown with skulls around her neck and one in her hand. Morbid as it may seem, these skulls actually represent the death of the ego. Even though the image of Kali may be jarring or even scary, she is the personification of shadow and can help you get in touch with darker aspects of your ego that you may be avoiding.

Lillith

The Goddess Lilith has roots in several cultures and religions including ancient Sumeria and Christianity. She's referred to as both a demon and a seductive sex Goddess. Lilith is in touch with her sexuality which has caused men to fear her. She represents equality between men and women. Connect with Lilith to explore any sexual shadows you may have hidden.

Hecate

Hecate is a Greek Goddess of witchcraft and magic, she's closely related to ghosts and death. Hecate is often shown standing at a fork in the road as a reminder to examine our motives clearly before making a decision. She offers protection and wisdom. Hecate is perfect to work with if you're going through transitions. Ask for her guidance to shed light on the shadow side of changes you are going through.

Once you’ve found a goddess or god that you connect with, place a card, picture, or statue of her on your altar or in a place you’ll see it regularly to offer inspiration while meditating or journaling.

One of my favorite ways to connect with the goddesses is through The Goddess Oracle card deck. It doesn’t shy away from the dark goddesses, and my readings are always so powerful when they show up!

3. Create an Altar Space to Explore your Shadow Side

Altars are powerful healing tools. Much like a sacred container, your altar can hold space and energy for difficult emotions, traumas, and experiences. An altar can be as small or large as you'd like. It serves as a physical representation of what you're working on or working through. Small objects, tarot or oracle cards, crystals, herbs, pictures, or journal entries, etc., could all be parts of an altar. Learn more about creating an altar here.

To implement an altar for shadow work, start by selecting some representative items of what you're working through. It could be as simple as a black candle and a piece of rose quartz. Use the altar space to meditate at, call upon some of the Goddesses mentioned above, cry, yell, journal, process. When you're done, leave the energy you created at your altar space. You can go about your day knowing your feelings are safe at your altar, ready to be revisited when you're ready. The altar space will also serve as a reminder of your commitment to integrating your shadow.

4. Work with Supportive Crystals

Several crystals can be used for helping you with shadow work, but these are my favorites. Here are my top 3 picks for crystals to recruit for starting shadow work:

Snowflake Obsidian

This grounding stone is my top pick for shadow work. It can help open the door to your shadow side by bringing emotions, patterns, and fears to the surface. Black obsidian is also good for shadow work, but the balancing flecks of white in the snowflake version soften and balance its energy nicely.

Blue Kyanite

This stone is the softer, subtle version of snowflake obsidian. If you’re looking for a very gentle introduction to shadow work, kyanite is your stone, or you can just add it to your shadow work crystal collection! Kyanite comes with a host of other benefits but is helpful for recalling old memories and working through obstacles.

Rose Quartz

Shadow work will most likely bring up strong emotions for you. It’s important to bring in some soothing self-love energy while diving into shadow work, and rose quartz is the mother of loving vibes!This quote really says it all.

“If darkness is the absence of Love, then the most effective tonic to use in healing internal shadow is self-love. The more love we flow into our deepest wounds and darkest emotions, the quicker we are able to clear and raise our vibration.” - Jennifer Diamond

Place your shadow work crystal on your altar or in a place you’ll see them regularly. Another good alternative is to wear these stones for a beautiful and powerful reminder of your intention to do shadow work.

5. Draw, Paint, Write & Journal

You may find that tapping into your shadow side is more difficult than you thought. If you find yourself stuck in positivity mode, grab a pen or paintbrush and spend some time journaling and creating. Allow yourself time to create and/or journal without any outcomes in mind and let your subconscious flow. You might be surprised what naturally comes up when you commit yourself to some no expectation creative time.

This is the perfect time to keep some snowflake obsidian or kyanite nearby to help bring your darker side to the surface.

I also created an infographic for those who like visuals, and I added more ways to process shadow work.

Shadow work is not a one-and-done kind of deal. This is work that will happen over a lifetime. Every time you uncover and process one thing, you'll usually find there's more underneath. It's part of the process of being a whole human.

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What is Shadow Work & Why You Need It

When was the last time you had an all-consuming work week that resulted in snapping at someone you love? You don’t mean to, you don’t want to, but it just comes out. I’ve certainly been there too.Just one week, or even less sometimes, of repression can result in some pretty gnarly backlash.Now, imagine what years of repressing part of your soul might cause. Let’s go one step further. Imagine what the repression of an entire society of souls might look like.You probably don’t have to spend much time imagining this because it seems to be playing out right in front of our eyes.I don’t mean to scare you off and promise you that this isn’t a doom and gloom rant! This is a topic that has some stigma attached to it, but it also desperately needs to be talked about.

When was the last time you had an all-consuming work week that resulted in snapping at someone you love? You don’t mean to, you don’t want to, but it just comes out. I’ve certainly been there too.

Just one week, or even less sometimes, of repression can result in some pretty gnarly backlash.

Now, imagine what years of repressing part of your soul might cause. Let’s go one step further. Imagine what the repression of an entire society of souls might look like.

You probably don’t have to spend much time imagining this because it seems to be playing out right in front of our eyes.

I don’t mean to scare you off and promise you that this isn’t a doom and gloom rant! This is a topic that has some stigma attached to it, but it also desperately needs to be talked about.


Shadow work is something that has been calling to me since the passing of my grandma and my dad in 2015. After experiencing this loss, I went into a dark place that I’d never experienced or even knew was possible for me to visit. I was scared of myself. I was scared of what others thought of me. I was scared I’d never come back.

Through therapy and soul searching of my own, I slowly came back to the light, but not as the same person. I was reborn with integration and understanding of the darkness that lives within me, that is a part of me.

Since this experience, I’ve been drawn to explore shadow work more deeply. Before I dive into some methods for exploring shadow work let me give you a brief overview of what it is and why we so desperately need it right now.

What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the conscious effort of exploring the dark feelings, often ignored, that bring up shame, embarrassment, and fear in you. Many of these shadow feelings are not on the surface and reside in the subconscious.

The practice of exploring the shadow side of our nature can be found in religions and rituals all over the world, and more recently by psychiatrist Carl Jung.

Here’s another explanation of what the shadow self is:

“...the Shadow Self is an archetype that forms part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, perversions and embarrassing fears.”- Mateo Sol

Why is Shadow Work Important?

In order to become a whole and fully healed person, you must integrate the dark and the light.

The more you suppress shadow the more it will come seeping out in destructive and self-sabotaging ways, oftentimes when you least expect it. When you acknowledge shadow and give it space to be, you may find that you’re more patient, kind, and accepting of yourself and others.

All worldly change must start within first. Taking a closer look at your own dark side can further the progression of our society taking a look within as well. Think of shadow work as a way to lift the veils and expose our earthly troubles. In order to heal, individually and as a species, we must acknowledge the dark.

Getting Started With Shadow Work?

You might be wondering how to identify parts of your shadow side. If these attributes tend to reside in the subconscious how can you become aware of them? You know the phrase, “you spot it you got it”? Most of us walk around projecting our shadow sides onto others, constantly judging and condemning others, for things that secretly reside deep within us.

Next step, cultivate mindfulness.

Now that you understand that your gut feelings of anger and judgment are your own shadows being reflected back to you it’s a matter of being aware of when they come up.

Keeping a journal or a list on your phone can be a great way of keeping track of instances, people, and events that send you down the judgment rabbit hole.

Side note, exploring shadow is heavy work. Though you can certainly work on it alone, it may bring up things that are hard to work through on your own. If you really want to dig deep, I encourage you to recruit guidance from a therapist or healer as well.

Next week I’ll share some rituals and tools for diving deeper into exploring your shadow side.

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The Power of Altars // 5 Steps to Create Your Sacred Space

Loss and change are an integral part of our human experience. I’m sure you’ve experienced your own passages through pain and hardships. Whether you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, a bad breakup, a sudden change in career path, or all of the above, these life experiences can leave us feeling isolated and lost.Even if you’re not going through a hardship at this moment, loss and change are inevitable. Today I want to share my story of the power of altars in my life and how you can use them as a healing tool in your life as well.

Loss and change are an integral part of our human experience. I’m sure you’ve experienced your own passages through pain and hardships. Whether you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, a bad breakup, a sudden change in career path, or all of the above, these life experiences can leave us feeling isolated and lost.Even if you’re not going through a hardship at this moment, loss and change are inevitable. Today I want to share my story of the power of altars in my life and how you can use them as a healing tool in your life as well.

What is an Altar?

An altar is simply a space with a collection of items that hold significance to you, and they are often created around a theme. They can vary in size from a couple of items on a window sill to a large decorative display.Altars are a place that can hold energetic space for you, they are a place of reflection and meditation and a great place to conduct meaningful rituals.

My Experience with the Power of Altars

I’ve always loved the idea of having an altar, but to be honest, mostly just as a cute place to put my crystals. It wasn’t until the sudden loss of my grandma and father that the use of an altar became a powerful healing tool in my life.

I’m not going to lie, when I was in the depth of my sadness and a spiritual coach suggested an altar to help deal with my grief, I didn’t believe it would help. I thought I had too much sadness within me for a box with some stuff in it to help. But, I listened, kept an open mind, and decided to try what was suggested to me.

With my altar in place, I not only had space for my sadness to be felt but more importantly a place that my sadness could be held. If I had a bad day, it brought me comfort to know that I had a designated space for all of my feelings that I could visit anytime I wanted to.Because my experience with this altar was so meaningful I’ve gone on to create a second altar to honor my goals and for holding rituals, and have found it to be just as powerful and healing.

How to Create Your Own Altar or Sacred Space

So, where do you start? There is no reason to be daunted by the idea of creating an altar. Starting out, your altar or sacred space can be as simple as a collection of a few meaningful objects. Your altar is fluid and will never be finished, so it doesn’t have to be “perfect” when you start yours.

5 Steps to Create Your Own Altar

  1. Decide what the purpose of your altar will be. Here are some ideas: memorial altar, meditation altar, goals altar, and ritual altar, seasonal altar but any loving purpose you desire will work.

  2. Choose a space that fits the theme of the altar. If you’re creating a meditation altar you’ll want to place it somewhere that you’ll have uninterrupted quiet. For a memorial altar, it was important for me to have mine somewhere that I could easily see it and could have privacy.

  3. Clear the space(optional). Though it’s not a necessity, it is nice to clear the space of your altar. Do this with a herb or incense of your choice.

  4. Select your items for the altar. Find items that you’re drawn to, and that fit the theme of your altar. If you’re making an altar for reaching your goals consider researching crystals that are good for goal-setting. If you’re creating a ritual altar consider what items you might need to create your rituals.

  5. Arrange your items and make a commitment to spend a little bit of time each day with your altar. Spending time with your altar can be as simple as looking at it in passing or simply touching an item on it for a moment. I found that daily contact of some sort with my altars has been helpful.

Here are a couple of my favorite shops for altars and altar pieces:

Remember your altar is an extension of your soul and they’ll vary greatly in size, style, and appearance--there’s really no wrong way to do it. Let me know how your altar turns out, feel free to share a picture with me, or if you already have an altar I’d love to hear about your experience with it! Please feel free to send me a message.

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Using a pendulum to connect with your soul and spirits

From simple everyday questions like “which movie will I enjoy more?” to the tough decisions you’ve been putting off for weeks or maybe even months, a pendulum can help you cut out some of the guesswork. Once you get comfortable with your pendulum you’ll be able to rely on it for big and small questions. Using your pendulum can not only clear up some free space in your mind but can help you connect with your soul and loved ones in spirit.My fondest memories of my Grandma are of her getting out her pendulum during family get-togethers at her house. My sister and I would take turns asking our big questions. Grandma would focus, become still, and dangle her pendulum over our questions that she wrote out. We’d watch it swirl and not know what it meant as we impatiently awaited her answers from beyond. Before my Grandma left this plane she passed down her pendulum to me. It is my most treasured object and has become a favorite tool in my spiritual toolbox ever since.

From simple everyday questions like “which movie will I enjoy more?” to the tough decisions you’ve been putting off for weeks or maybe even months, a pendulum can help you cut out some of the guesswork. Once you get comfortable with your pendulum you’ll be able to rely on it for big and small questions. Using your pendulum can not only clear up some free space in your mind but can help you connect with your soul and loved ones in spirit.

My fondest memories of my Grandma are of her getting out her pendulum during family get-togethers at her house. My sister and I would take turns asking our big questions. Grandma would focus, become still, and dangle her pendulum over our questions that she wrote out. We’d watch it swirl and not know what it meant as we impatiently awaited her answers from beyond. Before my Grandma left this plane she passed down her pendulum to me. It is my most treasured object and has become a favorite tool in my spiritual toolbox ever since.

What is a Pendulum?

A pendulum is simply a small weight at the end of a string or a chain. The use of pendulums goes back thousands of years. There's evidence that they were used in both ancient Rome and Egypt. In the past, they’ve even been used for divination and to locate water and minerals within the Earth.

How does it work?

Though it seems like magic, it’s actually you who’s moving the pendulum! Whatever you want to call it: subconscious, your soul, or spirits speaking through you, the pendulum is ultimately controlled by you.It is called the ideomotor response. Your pendulum amplifies responses from your subconscious that would normally be undetectable.If you believe that your soul is an extension of the universe itself and can connect with energies of all kinds, then your pendulum can be viewed as a very extraordinary tool. If you don’t, it’s still pretty amazing to have access to your subconscious!My Grandma believed she was channeling loved ones that had passed on. Once she remarked that she would feel bombarded with their energy like they were all chiming in at once with their answers.

Getting started with your pendulum.

  1. Choose a pendulum that you connect with. They come in a variety of materials ranging from crystals, wood, plastic, and metal. You can even find simple instructions for creating your own pendulum online.

  2. Make sure that your arms and legs are not crossed when using your pendulum. Closing yourself off in this way can block your energy and affect the pendulum's answers.

  3. While sitting, place the end of the string or chain in your hands and place your elbow on a table so it’s steady.

  4. Next you’ll need to determine how your pendulum will answer your questions. I like to start by writing out these phrases on a piece of paper: “yes,” “no,” “I don’t know,” and “I can’t say.” Then I’ll hold the pendulum over each phrase and ask it what does “yes” mean and see what its reaction is. If it gives a clockwise turn, I’ll write down “clockwise” under “yes”. Continue for each phrase and be sure to test your pendulums response to each phrase a couple of times for accuracy.

  5. Start by asking your pendulum simple questions that you already know the answer to, like “is my hair blonde?”. Once you’re used to how your pendulum responds you can start asking other questions, keep in mind your questions must be able to be answered by yes or no.

  6. Avoid asking your pendulum questions if you already have a strong pull towards an answer. Remember, your pendulum is pulling from your subconscious, so if you already feel strongly about something, it is likely that your pendulum's answer will be swayed towards what you want.

Pendulums are one of my favorite tools because they're so versatile. They can be used for mundane uses like locating lost objects or for magical uses like connecting with spirits. Like any intuitive tool learning how to use your pendulum will take time.

If you feel called to explore more about pendulums, I have a workshop where you will learn all about using your pendulum for both mundane and magical purposes. You can find more information here.Do you have a favorite pendulum or book about pendulums? I’d love to know about it! Please send me a DM if you want to share. 

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Magic Charm Bags for Protection, Love, Luck & Health

Need a sprinkle of magic in your summer? Known in Voodoo as “gris-gris,” or to Native American’s as “medicine bags,” these good ol’ fashioned spells in a bag are sure to bring some magic into your life! For me, charm bags have some nostalgia surrounding them.CharmBag_01Growing up with my Grandma referencing her astrological charts and talking to spirits with her pendulum, I became very open-minded to all things woo woo. Though charm bags weren’t Grandma’s thing, I stumbled upon some magic books at a young age and was hooked. I created my first charm bag during middle school, in hopes to improve my relationship with my Mom. Like any good teen, I argued with her a lot. I’m not sure if it was the intention or true magic but our relationship did improve from that point forward!This summer season, entertain your inner child by creating a custom charm bag (or two)!!

Need a sprinkle of magic in your summer? Known in Voodoo as “gris-gris,” or to Native American’s as “medicine bags,” these good ol’ fashioned spells in a bag are sure to bring some magic into your life! For me, charm bags have some nostalgia surrounding them.

Growing up with my Grandma referencing her astrological charts and talking to spirits with her pendulum, I became very open-minded to all things woo woo. Though charm bags weren’t Grandma’s thing, I stumbled upon some magic books at a young age and was hooked. I created my first charm bag during middle school, in hopes to improve my relationship with my Mom. Like any good teen, I argued with her a lot. I’m not sure if it was the intention or true magic but our relationship did improve from that point forward!

This summer season, entertain your inner child by creating a custom charm bag (or two)!! I’ve got everything covered for you, from the container to its contents, a prayer to empower your charms, and even some printable “recipe” cards to have as reminders!

When choosing a bag it’s important to pick an appropriate color that reflects the purpose of your spell, lucky for you I’ve done all of the work on these details! Don’t have all of the herbs or all of the crystals for each one? Don’t fret, using one or two from each category is fine. Remember, the intention behind your charm bag is the most important part.

Protection

Bag Color: Red, black, or gold

Herbs: Betony (protects against malicious fairies), cedar, cinnamon, mint

Gemstones: Black tourmaline, amber, malachite

Charm: Shell (to symbolize a hard protective surface) or a piece of a broom (to brush away negativity)

Prayer: “Minions of the dark now quit this place, for only light will I embrace.”Imagine protective energy pouring into the bag and creating a force field of light around you as you place each item in the bag.

Luck

Bag Color: Silver, gold, or green

Herbs: Nutmeg, clover, ginger, fenugreek

Gemstones: Sunstone, moss agate, tiger’s eye

Charm: Moss; both Spanish and Irish moss are known to bring luck. Also, a horseshoe figurine.

Prayer: “Fortune smile on me this day, may all I need come my way.”

Imagine your hopes and dreams coming to you easily and effortlessly as you place each item in the bag.

Love

Bag Color: Red, PinkHerbs: Lavender, rose petals, a stick of cinnamon for passionate love

Gemstones: Rose quartz, copper, pink kunzite

Charm: Maple leaf; the sap of the maple tree makes sweet, rich syrup. So, the maple leaf symbolizes rich and full love. Or a triangle object to represent the love in the union of a mother, father, and child.

Prayer: “By air, earth, fire, and sea. Bring love to me.”

Concentrate deeply on the kind of love you want to bring into your life as you place each item in the bag.

Health

Bag Color: Yellow, blue

Herbs: Peppermint, St. Johns Wort, Thyme

Gemstones: Amethyst, sunstone

Charm: Toadstone or something to symbolize the sun. The sun is the heart of the solar system and provides life to all living things on Earth, so it is a preferred talisman for health.

Prayer: “Keep my mind and body strong and fit. Strengthen both my heart and wit.”

Visualize yourself at your perfect physical and mental health as you place each item in the bag.

Carry your charm bag in your pocket, display them on an altar or prominent place to remind you of its intention, or gift it to a friend. Just like your crystals, you can set your charm bags out in the light of the full moon to give them a good cleaning. Whether it be for protection, luck, love, or health, have fun in the childlike wonder and playfulness of creating your charm bag!

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Healing Sounds: Tibetan Singing Bowls

Can you really receive healing energy from singing bowls? I’m sure you’ve seen them in your yoga class, or maybe you’ve even got your own singing bowl. They’re becoming more and more mainstream in Western culture, but what’s all the fuss? Can these pleasant sounds really help heal us from the inside out?singing-bowl-1I’ve done the research for you and have learned that singing bowls can in fact help you heal. (More on this and where to start your collection later.) I also learned about an unexpected communication link between singing bowls and the Buddha, but here’s a little history first.

Can you really receive healing energy from singing bowls?

I’m sure you’ve seen them in your yoga class, or maybe you’ve even got your own singing bowl. They’re becoming more and more mainstream in Western culture, but what’s all the fuss? Can these pleasant sounds really help heal us from the inside out?I’ve done the research for you and have learned that singing bowls can in fact help you heal. (More on this and where to start your collection later.) I also learned about an unexpected communication link between singing bowls and the Buddha, but here’s a little history first.

Where Do They Come From?

Tibetan Singing Bowls date back to 560-480 B.C. and knowledge of the singing bowls were only passed on by high-ranking lamas or spiritual masters. To complicate the passing down of this study, the teachings were traditionally spoken between teacher and student. There’s virtually no written text on the topic! I, however, came across an interview with a lama (spiritual leader) regarding the mystical singing bowls!

Communication from The Buddha

In the interview, the lama told all about how the singing bowls are a means of communication for Buddha, how cool! So, if you are listening to singing bowls, here are a few things you might learn directly from Buddha.

Emptiness: The sound of the singing bowl gives the teaching of broadness and emptiness. This is the essence of Buddha’s teaching. In emptiness, all things are possible. Having a bad day? Emptiness allows feelings and emotions to not linger for too long. It allows us to not take everything so seriously, which I really need a lesson in on a daily basis!

Healing with Singing Bowls

Ok, now here’s some awesomeness for ya! The medical director at the Deepak Chopra Center in California found that both chanting AND Tibetan Singing Bowls are chemically metabolized into internal healing agents and painkillers! Here’s the lowdown on how the singing bowls promote healing in our bodies:

Vibrations: All matter vibrates. When we have an ailment, it is a part of us that is vibrating out of tune. Singing bowls can literally change the matter within you by sending vibrations to your body that bring everything back into harmony. This can be done by having singing bowls played around your body, or even having them played while they rest on top of your body!

Emotional Response: Singing bowls heal us physically because they touch us on deep emotional planes. The sound creates a spiritual awakening that quiets negative self-talk and synchronizes our brainwaves to bring awareness of a mind/body connection.

Mind-blowing right?! Well, if you got as excited as I did about these you might want to start your collection now. I found an amazing shop on Etsy that sells small, very affordable, singing bowls that you can even coordinate with your chakras, check them out here.I’d love to hear any singing bowl experiences you have had, or if you have a favorite singing bowl, let me know! Send us an email.

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