Why We Vigil & The Oak and Holly King

As winter steals the sunlight, the land reacts by going silent, hibernating, and sometimes dying, reminding us to peel back hurried layers of mundane to-dos and sink deeper into the darkness. Vigil means to stay awake and keep watch in the dark. In a season dominated by darkness, the vigil invites presence. While often touted as a passive, restful season, being awake to what’s going on in the dark requires awareness; it’s also where you’ll find the richest compost.

With a candle in hand, do you see what’s ready to die within you this season, or are you prepared to sit with what’s dying in your family, community, or the world? In a primarily death-phobic society, the vigil asks us to honor the wisdom of death and dying. 

A beautiful example of the need for balance in our understanding of birth and death comes through the story of the Oak King and the Holly King, two mythical land figures embodying dark and light. While no one knows the exact origins of the Oak and the Holly king, versions of their story can be found throughout Ireland, Wales, and England. 

I’ll share my version of this story, adapted from several versions I’ve heard and read. I’ll also share more about vigils, their importance, and ways to reclaim this sacred practice of being awake in the face of death. 

The Oak King and The Holly King

Long ago and still to this day, there were two brothers, the Oak King and the Holly King. These brothers ruled over the lands now called Ireland, Wales, and England. The Oak King brought light, warmth, growth, fertility, and abundance. He was sometimes called the green man of the forest. On the other hand, the Holly King brought darkness, cold, rest, decay, and death. 

“The Oak King” and “The Holly King” by Anne Stokes

The brothers often battled, bringing light, darkness, warmth, and cold throughout the land. Over time, the people began to favor the Oak King and preferred the warm sunlight and the abundance he brought to the land and their crops. As favor grew for the Oak King, he became stronger with the help of the people, driving the Holly King farther and farther north. 

Endless Summer

Eventually, the Oak King reigned throughout the land and brought what seemed like an endless summer. The people were delighted and relished the warmth and abundance of their crops. After a long time, however, they noticed their crops were not as bountiful, and the blooms of the flowers were not as bright as they once were. Not only was the land growing tired, but the people, too, were growing tired of constantly harvesting. Unsurprisingly, the Oak King himself was beginning to tire as well. 

Tucked far away to the north, the Holly King noticed that his brother and the people were growing tired. He knew it was time to make his return. After over a year, on the day of the year when the sun shone the longest, the Holly King returned to the south to battle his brother. While the Oak King did battle, it was short-lived because he was so tired. 

Winter Returns

The Oak King retreated into the forest to rest while the Holly King took over again. Quickly, a cold and dark winter covered the land. The land was quiet again, and the people were grateful to go into their houses around the fire to rest and tell stories. The plants were grateful to die back and return to the land to compost for another growing season.

After some months, as the nights grew longer and longer, the Oak King began to stir after his long rest. On the longest night of the year, the Oak King returned full of strength to battle his brother again. The battle took much longer, with the Oak King and the Holly King at full strength. They fought day in and day out, the days slowly getting lighter until eventually spring returned, and the Holly King began retreating north to rest again. 

The Need for Balance

From then on, the brothers continued their annual battles to protect the well-being of the earth and all her creatures. The people and the brothers now understand the importance of the balance of light and dark and that both are needed to support the earth and its seasons. Still, to this day, we can celebrate the brothers at the height of their power: the Oak King on the summer solstice and the Holly King on the winter solstice, and the gifts they bring by honoring their true nature. So it is. 

Why We Vigil

The story of the Oak King and the Holly King expresses the need for balance between light and dark, warmth and cold, expression and receptivity, and birth and death. None of these themes are good or bad; as the story teaches, they are all necessary to life. In our hyper-productive capitalist society, we tend to focus on the light, expression, and birth parts. So often, hiding death and dying away to focus on more, bigger, and better. The Holly King teaches us that death is necessary for life, and the holly plant that remains green-leafed throughout winter reminds us to be present with what’s dying.

With our quickly warming climate, like the people in the story, perhaps we’re also headed for an endless summer. While I don’t believe sitting vigil is the cure to human-made global warming, I do think death has much to teach us, and the best way to learn about death is to sit with it. The word vigil comes from the Latin word “awake.” Vigil goes beyond understanding that there is a need for death; it is an opportunity to honor the wisdom of death by remaining awake and aware of it. 

The vigil honors the inevitability, presence, and importance of death. Sitting vigil helps us remember our seasonality, humanity, impermanence, and humility. The vigil is not the time to shame and blame based on the past or dream of the future; it calls you into the present moment.  When you enter into the vigil, the time for resuscitation has ended. It is now time to surrender to the process of dying. We do not vigil to tell what’s dying how to die; we vigil to honor the death process and the magic that the Holly King brings with winter. We vigil to lean in and trust the Great Mystery together. 

Similar to birthing, our bodies know how to die. Cycles of death and rebirth happen in your body every day. Cells all over your body die. We bleed, sleep, shed, and change. In these bodies, we are cyclical and ever-changing beings. Dying, just like living, is in our nature.

Welcoming the Vigil

What’s dying in your body, mind, and soul? What’s dying in your home, community, and the world? How would you live your life if you trusted death? Death carries innate wisdom, and when you avoid it, you cut yourself off from the remembered wisdom held within your blood and bones. How can you reclaim this innate wisdom? Remaining awake and present to death within and around you is one way to remember. While deciding to sit in vigil is a massive privilege, its importance remains. 

Winter Solstice vigil.

Vigils need not be relegated to the dying person. Even if you don’t want to admit it, you are surrounded by death every day. Opening yourself up to the practice of the vigil opens you to death processes already occurring within and around you. All you have to do is decide to be present with them, which is a practice. 

Sitting vigil was never intended to be done alone or long-term. Vigil requires a honed ability to be present with what is, even when uncomfortable. While it might appear passive, it requires self-awareness, emotional regulation, and discernment. Like birth, it is a communal act that happens in shifts. You may visit the depths for some time, but eventually, you’ll need to pass the baton to tend within, knowing others will keep watch. 

Here are some simple ways to weave vigil into your practice. 

Ways to vigil

• Vigil with winter: Sit outside in winter amidst dying plants, perhaps a specific plant you already have a relationship with, and listen and notice for as long as you want or can. Notice what’s happening to the plant(s) in their dying process. Note physical and energetic changes. 

• Hold a candlelight vigil to be with what’s dying in the world: Light a candle at night, in your home, or outside, and set aside time to contemplate something dying in the world. As I said, there’s no shortage of death around us. What deaths are weighing heavy on your heart? Can you be present with them without trying to change them or apply a narrative to the death? What do you notice physically and energetically? This could be done solo or in a small group. 

• Hold a candlelight vigil for yourself: Light a candle at night, in your home, or outside, and set aside time to contemplate something dying within you. You are a cyclical being, constantly changing. Whether it’s your body, beliefs, or how you operate, cycles of death and rebirth are always present. Notice your personal seasons and deaths occurring within you, not to change them but to be present with them. 

• Attend a vigil: Communal vigils occur for all kinds of reasons. See if you can find one in your community to attend. I also hold occasional virtual vigils called Living Vigil. Click here to see if one is on the books. 

Reclaiming the practice of the vigil can help you reclaim a part of your innate humanness. Like the holly plant that remains alive throughout winter, you, too, can meet death with honor and reverence. As winter works its magic, light your candles and remember there’s wisdom in the dark.